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Why I’m afraid to wean from Breastfeeding

February 26, 2020 by firstcomesfamily Leave a Comment

Photo Credit: Kimberley Asante Photography

We’ve made it 10 long months of breastfeeding with only 2 months left until our goal of 1 year. I should be proud of my progress, but all I can think about is how afraid I am to wean from breastfeeding. It’s as if there is a clock ticking time down until we’re finished. Everyday feels numbered until she magically stops latching.

The bond I have with her through breastfeeding is so incredible. I feel so close to her, after all I am literally her life source. We’ve been blessed with a rather easy journey. She latched immediately after birth and we’ve haven’t had many hurdles to overcome. It’s was easy for us. Her and I are meant to be on this journey together.

Naturally, any baby will depend on their mother regardless of how their fed. We’ve only breastfed so this is the only connection that I know. She is so completely attached to me since day 1 and it only continues to get stronger. I worry that if and when we wean that I’m robbing her of comfort, love, and nutrition. My heart breaks into pieces when she cries as is, but I can’t imagine what it will feel like when the tears are caused by refusing her the only thing she knows of.

The selfish part of me thinks “What if she just wakes up one day and doesn’t want to feed?”. How do I prepare for the moment my baby girl doesn’t want me? Not being able to have some sort of closure or last moment together is what I fear. We’ve spent roughly 5 hours a day breastfeeding for the last 10 months. This comes out to be around 1,500 hours breastfeeding. That is 1,500 hours of just her and I, in our own little world. How do we go on not doing what spent nearly 50% of our days doing?

This journey has been the most amazing experience of my life. Breastfeeding my first baby, my little girl. I’ve given her some of the absolute most important days of breastfeeding that she could have. According to the AAP, breastmilk has already reduced her chances of ear infections, type 1 and type 2 diabetes, lymphoma, leukemia, and Hodgkins disease, childhood overweight and obesity.

In the big picture, I don’t know why I’m worrying so much about our days being over. She will love me no matter what and I will still look at her with such admiration as I have since her first minutes in this world. But I do know that I am not the only mother fearing the end of her breastfeeding journey.

Diaper Bag Essentials

February 17, 2020 by firstcomesfamily Leave a Comment

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. This means I may earn a commission should you choose to make a purchase using my link. It’s okay – I love all of these companies anyways, and you will too!

The diaper bag is every parents magical bag of everything. Literally I even have a spare shirt in there for me. My husband thinks it’s entirely too full of useless items, but guess who isn’t laughing when there is 3 back up outfits for baby after 2 blow outs. Mhm, that’s what I thought. So if you’re a new mama or even a veteran mama, let’s take a look inside my diaper bag right now!

Diapers are obviously important! I keep 3-5 in the bag at all times. Good rule of thumb is 1 diaper per hour gone.

Wipes! I like to buy the travel size packs of wipes to keep in the bag because normal packs are just too bulky.

Swaddle blanket. Perfect is there is a little chill in the air, if you have to nurse, or if you need to lay it down for a diaper change in a gross place.

2 back up outfits for baby. Always 2!! One time, our baby girl had 2 blowouts back to back when we were out. Thank goodness I had 2 outfits for her! Phew!

Hand Sanitizer! No brainer especially because there are germs lurking every where. No hands are safe!

Bibs! I love to keep a drool bib and a silicone bib in the bag in case of teething or meal times.

Snacks! Most important thing for babies who are eating solids! We always keep Cheerios, pouches, and a sippy cup in the bag.

Poop Bags. Yup, like doggy poop bags. These are perfect for dirty clothes and diapers when you’re out and about.

Sound Machine! We use this when traveling or on the go. I attach it to the carseat and she passes right out when we need her to nap.

Teething Toy. I feel like babies start teething at 3 months (at least mine did ). Always keep one at all times to put out in case of teething nightmares!

Tide to Go. This is more for you, mama. Nothing worse than being in public and getting spit up on your only cute top that fits you. Funny story, one time my baby had a blowout on me while I was holding her…. while getting coffee at Starbucks! I was mortified.

Mama kit, that’s what I call it. I keep granola bars, perfume, tissues, hair ties, chapstick and pens. Ya never know when you’ll need any of those! I use my diaper bag as my purse, so I have to keep essentials in it.

Below are my go to items for my diaper bag!

I have put together a FREE printable Diaper Bag Checklist! All you have to do is click and download Mama!

You’re exhausted, mama. I am too.

February 10, 2020 by firstcomesfamily Leave a Comment

Dear mama,

It’s okay to not want to change another diaper. Its okay to not want to pick up all of the toys day after day. It’s okay to want someone else to feed the kids while you take a shower. It’s okay to want to go grocery shopping alone. It’s okay to not want to do another load of laundry, even if theres a mountain of it in the laundry room. It’s okay to sit in the bathroom for 10 minutes while your kids an husband go haywire. It’s okay.

You’re exhausted, mama. I am too. Some days you just want to be the irresponsible twenty something year old who would take tequila shots and sleep in until 11 on the weekends. You thought hangovers were exhausting? Now you don’t even think of drinking too much because there’s no one else to turn on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse for the kids while they run around at 6 am.

But sometimes, it would be nice to just let go and not worry. Go shopping, lose track of time, get a pedicure, stay in a hotel overnight, and not wake up to a crying baby. Those days will come. They’re actually closer than we think. I know it doesn’t seem like it now but doesn’t it feel like just yesterday you gave birth to your first born? Exactly.

I’m trying to say, it’s okay to be exhausted and just want to do nothing. You’re not alone in this. We all feel defeated after a day of chasing kids, changing diapers, cooking meals, and errand running. Being a mom is hard. Hang in there mama, we’re going to miss these crazy exhausting days. For now, take a bubble bath and pretend you’re in the islands.

XOXO

Flu Season Medicines for Babies

February 6, 2020 by firstcomesfamily Leave a Comment

Flu season is upon us in full force. Our biggest fears as parents is for our precious little babies to come down with the flu. Unfortunately, there has been 68 pediatric deaths due to influenza during the 2020 flu season. This means our medicine cabinets need to be stocked and ready to go in case of a cold at the drop of a dime. I’m sharing what is currently in our medicine cabinet at all times! Of course, consult your pediatrician before giving your child new medicines.

Zarbee’s Naturals Baby Immune Support & Vitamins

For use 2+ months old. Preventative methods are key to keeping the flu away from our babies. Zarbees Naturals Baby Immune Support & Vitamins comes packed with Victims A, C, D, and E as well as zinc! I love to give these a few days before traveling on planes or anticipating being around a lot of germs!

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Zarbee’s Naturals Complete Baby Cough Syrup + Immune with Agave, Thyme & Elderberry

For use 2+ months old. Elderberry is widely popular for adults and even better that it comes in Zarbee’s Naturals Complete Baby Cough Syrup + Immune with Agave, Thyme & Elderberry! This is very thick and helps coat their sore throats.

Zarbee’s Naturals Baby Cough Syrup + Mucus

For use 2+ months old. Runny noses seem to be so common and there usually isn’t much we can do. This Zarbee’s Naturals Baby Cough Syrup + Mucus helps break up the mucus and drain their sinuses. It is made with agave and English ivy leaf extract, containing no honey. It also comes in convenient single use packets, perfect for travel.

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Zarbee’s Naturals Baby Soothing Chest Rub with Eucalyptus, Lavender & Beeswax

For use 2+ months old. Whenever I was sick as a child, I loved rubbing Vicks on my chest. It was the best! Zarbee’s Naturals Baby Soothing Chest Rub with Eucalyptus, Lavender & Beeswax is a natural alternative to traditional chest rubs. It is petroleum-free and made with essential oils! I rub this on my little ones chest, behind her neck, and feet before bed.

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NoseFrida The Snotsucker

You know those booger suckers the hospital gives you when your baby is born? Well this is that but x100! It is a legit miracle to suck all the runny snot and boogies out of your little ones noses. Make sure you have a filter on it though or else, you don’t even want to know!

Frida Baby Breathefrida Vapor Bath Drops

For use 3+ months old. These are so strong and so perfect to add to our little ones baths. I actually use these for myself in the shower when I’m congested. It’s like a liquid form of Vicks and mixed with a warm bath is heaven!

Zarbee’s Naturals Soothing Saline Nasal Mist with Aloe

Runny noses don’t stop for babies because they don’t know how to sniff and blow their own nose. Saline spray is essential because it helps break up congestion and dry out their noses. Warning: babies HATE this because who actually like anything sprayed in their nose? I even use this when I’m sick!

Boogie Wipes

Regular tissues will dry up our little babies noses. Boogie Wipes contain saline, aloe, vitamin e, and chamomile to help dissolve snot and prevent drying out their skin. They don’t leave a reside and have no flavor!

Infants’ Tylenol

This is a no brainer and a must have no matter what! It helps temporarily relieve minor aches and pains due to the common cold, flu, sore throat, toothache. You can give this every 4 hours, ask your pediatrician for dosage amount.

We swear by all of the above products especially anything Zarbees! We love that their natural and limited ingredients. It makes me feel better giving my child something natural and not loaded of unnecessary ingredients. As always, you should consult your child’s pediatrician before use. Remember to wash your hands and don’t let people kiss on your little ones this flu season!

What to Expect: the First Week of Breastfeeding

February 3, 2020 by firstcomesfamily Leave a Comment

For nine months, I dreamt of the moment my baby would latch. Social media is filled empowering photos of little babies breastfeeding on their mothers. Craving that connection between my daughter and I was a dream of mine. I had done endless research on what to expect but didn’t actually know what to expect the first week. So let me break down what to expect breastfeeding that first week day by day and even hour by hour.

We did skin to skin immediately after I gave birth. (I know some are not as lucky to get this opportunity) 45 minutes into our skin to skin, the nurses asked if I wanted to try latching. I lowered her to my nipple and she still fussed a little. Then within 30 seconds she latched. *cue the choir singing hallelujah* She sucked for about 20 minutes, maybe less. Then they took her for measuring, footprints, etc. Then about 2 hours later, they moved us to our Mother and Baby suite. The relocation was filled with getting comfortable into our new home for 2 days. Once family left, it was just my husband, our baby girl and I. She started to fuss so I was directed by the nurse to put her on to feed. Y’ALL! This baby suckled for 5 hours straight. I kid you not. She would cry when I took her off for a break. The nurse told me that cluster feeding is very normal within the first 24 hours. I DID NOT READ THAT ANYWHERE. In my mind, this is how breastfeeding was going to be for the rest of our journey. I was going out of my mind trying to stay awake but so exhausted. My husband stood at my bedside would I could rest my eyes while she fed. They also don’t warn you that if a nurse catches you asleep with the baby in your arms, they will take her and put her in the bassinet (which I did not want). My nipples were starting to get sore about an hour in and I would just keep reapplying the nipple balm. I used Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter which I loved because you didn’t have to wipe it off before feedings. You can find all of my Breastfeeding Must Haves here. Since she fed for so long, it truly was exhausting. I needed something to give me a break. The nurse said we could try a pacifier if we wanted. I was apprehensive because of all you hear about nipple confusion. We ended up giving her a paci and lasted for 2 hours. (also the last time she took a paci.. don’t worry yourself about nipple confusion)

This day feels like a blur but breastfeeding was better! Along with the hourly visits from nurses, doctors and consultants, we managed to get a better hang at it. She wasn’t cluster feeding as much as the night. Thank goodness. The lactation consultant commented how her latch looked great and I truthfully had no concerns, so on their way they went. There was one moment where they weighed her and she was 8 ounces under birth weight. This worried us, the nurse advised if we truly we concerned then we could give formula but she recommended we wait. I AM SO GLAD WE DID. I decided to trust the process and everything would be okay. (Took her a week to get over birth weight) Again, the nighttime was dreadful because as the mom, you literally get no rest. There is someone in there needing you hourly. (also something I didn’t know about)

Time to go home! YAY! But also freaked out because it was my full responsibility to make sure our baby was fed. Completely overwhelming. Her weight was still under but they assured me that the 4 days until our pediatrician appointment will be fine because my milk will come in. Side note, my milk didn’t come in yet. I was definitely producing colostrum because I had seen it on the tip of my nipple. So I wasn’t fretting too much since I knew there was something there. Once we got home, she fed like every other hour or so.

A blur. Constant feedings. Nothing new. A little cracking on my nipples and it did hurt from that. But no other latching pain. Still feeling every other hour.

WHOA BABY! Milk had arrived. My boobs were rock solid. I imagined this is what Pam Anderson’s implants felt like LOL They were EXTREMELY painful. Painful to touch. Painful to feed. Painful. I read once just to feed feed feed in order to drain them. So that’s what I did. The engorgement only lasted about a full day. They also started leaking aka let down had begun. I slept that night on my side and woke up to a legit soaked bed. Lesson learned: wear beast pads. I continued to use the nipple balm before and after every feed. That really helped them heal fast. I had a small scab on each nipple that fell off by Day 6.

As my husband was able to catch up on sleep, I am sad to report, I was not. Our baby girl didn’t like to be set down was still feeding every other hour. As the initial engorgement went down, they would only become filled after a few hours. In order to help the engorgement, I took hot long showers which made them feel SO much better.

Still feeding every other hour. Tried to find joy in each moment because everyone told me it goes by quick. But let me tell you, it’s hard finding joy when you’re completely exhausted, emotional, and your boobs hurt (and not like I’m getting my period hurt). I can safely say, by day 7 it felt way better and I was way more comfortable with handling her for feedings. Now I have smaller boobs to begin with, so I really was only able to use cross-cradle position where she laid on my one forearm and the other arm/hand held her head. This is a very common early breastfeeding position because it helps support their head.

My baby girl and I are now 8 months into our breastfeeding journey and it is crazy looking back to the first week. It felt like an absolute eternity and I all I could think about was getting to our goal. My goal was 2 weeks. I was always told the first 2 weeks were the toughest. So I endured each day to get there. Our journey is on its own path and I’m okay wherever it takes us. Not every mother has the same experience with breastfeeding and it is so important to remember that. Some last 1 day, some last 2 years. Some get mastitis, some don’t. My ultimate advice would be to go into your journey relaxed and try not to put too much stress into it. I often see moms struggle when they let everyone control their breastfeeding journey or do not have support.

I am here for you, mama. I am an advocate for you and your precious baby on your breastfeeding journey. I hope this 7 day insight helps you feel a little more at ease or even a little excited.

Best Wishes xoxo

Valentine’s Gift Ideas for Babies

January 27, 2020 by firstcomesfamily Leave a Comment

Valentine’s Day isn’t just for adults anymore, now it’s time to share the day of love with your littles with my Valentine’s Day Gift Guide! Of course babies don’t quite grasp the concept of holidays yet, but we can still have fun with it. Seriously, the thought of celebrating Vivian’s first Valentine’s Day makes me soooo sad but also so excited! My mom always got me a Valentine’s gift every year and still sends me a package with goodies.

I’ve gathered the cutest Valentines Day goodies for babies under one year old!

Clothes

Clothes have to be the best part about having babies! They’re so cheap and SO cute. Here are my favorite picks from Target, Old Navy, and Burt Bee’s!

Toys

If you’re like me, it seems like toys are never ending! But, we can’t deny that a new toy does spark their interest for a little way and it is so exciting watching them discover it. Here are a few toys that we love, especially the First Years Stacking Cups! They’re very affordable and I promise your little will love them.

Books

We love books in our house! A holiday is the perfect excuse to add to our mountain of books. It’s hard to pass up books with cute little hearts that the kiddos will love reading before bed.

Even though our children are just little babies this Valentine’s Day, spread a little love to them. Kiss them a little more. Hug them a little tighter. Sing them another song. Read them one more book. These Valentine’s Days are limited with them, mama.

XOXO

5 things I wish I had put on my Baby Registry

January 21, 2020 by firstcomesfamily Leave a Comment

Disclaimer: this post contains affiliate links. This means I may earn a commission should you choose to sign up for a program or make a purchase using my link. It’s okay – I love all of these companies anyways, and you will too!

Now that my little one is actually here, there are so many things I wish I had put on my baby registry. Creating my baby registry was overwhelming beyond belief. For every product you “should” have, there is at least 10 different versions and it’s so difficult to pick one. Even though I research everything over the top, I still managed to miss such important items on my registry. We ended up gathering everything listed below as time had gone on and I’m here so that doesn’t happen to you!

Ergobaby Omni 360 Carrier

This carrier is SO comfy and so versatile. It can go into four different positions which is awesome because my little one loves facing forward to see what’s going on. The shaping is breathable and comfortable for those warm days. Also, the Omni 360 can be used for 0 to 48 months! I use this pretty much any time that I have to get anything done and my little one is in one of those clingy moods. Hubby has even worn it a few times with no complaints!

Bumbo Seat

At the 3-5 month stage where they’re not quite sitting but also want to see whats going on… the Bumbo Seat is a savior! We actually tested this at a friends house then went and bought one that night. It is so nice to be able to set it on the floor when I’m getting ready or on the kitchen island when prepping dinner. It also has the food tray which is nice when feeding first foods or giving toys to play with.

Inflatable Baby Tub

We had the Angelcare baby bath support for our baby initially but she grew out of it around 4 months when all she wanted to do was try to sit up. This pool is great because it blows up and has a little piece that helps them sit up. It is the perfect size so you don’t waste a whole bath of water! You can also travel easily with it! We have taken it on 5 trips so far (helps avoid those hotel tub germs).

Sun Shade Clings for the Car

Personally, I wasn’t a fan of the traditional sunshade that go on the car windows. I came across these shades that cling to the window, over 4,000 5-star reviews sold me. They block out SO much sun while being rather transparent and so easy to remove. you can fold them up and throw them in a bag for traveling. Also, such a great deal!

Medicines

I dreaded the day our baby girl would get sick for the first timed of course it happened while traveling. If I could go back, I would’ve purchased all medicines ahead of time so we didn’t have to worry about running out to get it all. My favorites are Zarbee’s Naturals Baby Immune Support, Zarbee’s Naturals Baby Cough Syrup, Zarbee’s Naturals Baby Soothing Chest Rub, Infants’ Tylenol, Infants’ Motrin, Boogie Wipes, Little Remedies Saline Spray and Drops. Not super fun to put on the registry but SO necessary!

Knowing what I know now, I would’ve created my registry so differently! I also will give other mamas-to-be way different gifts than before. Especially with my 5 items above, they are so useful yet forgotten by new mamas! Just trying to save another exhausted new parent from having to send their husband to target for special saline drip on a Tuesday night!

Dear Mama, It’s okay to love your body after baby

January 13, 2020 by firstcomesfamily Leave a Comment

Dear Mama, it’s okay to love your body after baby. We as women have become accustomed to the idea that we are supposed to hate our bodies after children. Well, I’m here to break it to you mama…IT’S OKAY TO LOVE YOUR POST BABY BODY! Even way before kids, we go through the roller coaster of our body image. We get pregnant and get amazing glow as well as being able to blame the baby on the extra cookies. Some embrace it quickly and for some it takes a bit to accept our growing body. We then get this anxious feeling, like we know that we may very well feel the worst we ever have about our body after we give birth. Well, SURPRISE, some of us actually love every extra pound on this new body we have!

I gained an enormous amount of weight during my pregnancy, like double the suggested. I struggled to be happy with my pregnancy body until about 28 weeks when I had a full on bump. The thought of how much I’d dislike my body after birth kept me up at night. I remember looking in the mirror at the hospital the night after I gave birth and expecting to look still pregnant and to HATE it. But, to my surprise, I thought “Dang! I just pushed a healthy baby out of me and I look like this?! Okay, I’ll take it!”. Seriously, I was not expecting to be happy with how I looked. The weeks following, I didn’t expect to have my pre baby body back. My body underwent the LARGEST change it will ever endure. So instead of hatred, I gave myself grace.

Other new moms around me complained of their extra skin, stretch marks, baby weight still on, and so on. They’d tell me of their insecurities expecting me to agree and chime in with what I disliked about my body. In those moments, I realized that I LOVED my body. I appreciated the extra pounds, skin and double chin. All of that is here because I carried a baby for nine long months and am soaking up every second I have with her.

But the other half of me was so guilty that I didn’t feel the same as my other mom friends. I felt guilty that I couldn’t agree with them to make them feel better. It broke my heart that they didn’t feel as great as I did about my extra inches. I wished I could sprinkle my appreciation and love on them so they didn’t have to feel that way. This really weighed on me and made me question if I really was happy with what I saw. In fact, I really do love my body and still do to this day.

Moral of the story, don’t feel bad that you are happy with your body. You are a freaking goddess who just gave birth! Yeah, I don’t care if your 2 days post partum or 2 years post partum…you JUST gave birth. Love that body that created your precious child and never feel guilty for it. ALSO, you’re not alone mama.

XOXO

2020 Resolutions

January 7, 2020 by firstcomesfamily Leave a Comment

Hello 2020, see ya last decade 2019! I am excited to lay out my goals for 2020 with you. I hate calling them resolutions because they’re actually attainable goals that I hope to carry through long term. Something about a new year makes me SO excited. 365 chances to complete goals is so refreshing. Kinda makes me think why we wait until January 1st to start something new… probably the same reason every diet starts on a Monday. (*eats cake Tuesday* Oops I’ll start over on Monday LOL)

I’m going to share my 2020 goals with you and hoping to reflect back on them at the end of this year! Some are reptitive things that I’ve been trying to work on year after year, but nonetheless I will persist.

Be a happier Mom and Wife
Focus on the blog consistently
Exercise. Just move my body.
Be more productive daily
Stick to using a planner
Organize pantry and important papers
Read 4 books
Start taking care of my skin
Be present often for Vivian
Date my husband, however we can
Take time for myself every week
Let go of control

I know most people make a resolution surrounding weight/fitness but I have SO many other things that I truly want to work on. Some goals are smaller than others and some will take a lot of work, but they are all things that have weighed heavy on my mind recently.

Now it’s your turn! What are your goals for 2020? Share with me below!

Stick around and let’s help each other reach our goals this year!

Newborn to 6 months Gift Guide

November 25, 2019 by firstcomesfamily Leave a Comment

*This post contains no affiliate links. Every item is something we love and receive no commission from you shopping these great items.*

I’ve put together a list of my favorite items from when my little one was newborn to 6 months of age. Tis the season to buy all the cute babies in our lives the best gifts! I know you’re trying to lock in that #1 Auntie or Uncle spot, and I’m here to tell you what gifts will get you there! Although little ones are too small to understand what gifts are, moms and dads will truly love these gifts as well.

Copper Pearl Swaddle-$24.95. These swaddles are incredibly soft and feel like your favorite t-shirt. They also make amazing bibs, burp clothes and any other baby essentials.
Snuggle Me Organic Infant Lounger– $99.00. Made from 100% USA components, this is the perfect lounger to set your little babe in. This comes in handy for busy families and hanging out.
Touch and Feel Baby Book- $14.99. Contrasting images and different sounds/feelings that will capture a little babes attention. Machine washable and clip onto the carseat.
Kick & Play Piano Gym– $39.99. With sounds and colors, this is sure to be a great way to get their little legs moving. It may take a little for them to understand but our little one LOVES this still! There is also many uses for it.
Mustela Baby Bath Time Essential Kit– $34.99. We love Mustela. It is made in France and is extra gentle on baby’s skin. The shampoo is wonderful for cradle cap!
Sophie la Girafe Teether- $24.99. Made of all natural rubber and makes the perfect teether for babies. I don’t know what it is but our little one LOVES her Sophie. Maybe a splurge for a teether but SO worth it.
Rattle ‘n Rock Maracas– $6.99. Most babies don’t grip for a few months. These rattles are perfect for their little hands.
Bumbo Floor Seat– $39.99. In the early stages of sitting, You can set these on the kitchen island or table while you cook and clean. You can also use it as a high chair if you wanted!
Baby Food Feeder/Fruit Feeder Pacifier– $13.99. Once baby can have foods, these are great to throw frozen fruit in and let them gnaw. Teething can suck and they will love this!
Portable White Noise Machine– $29.95. White noise becomes essential for sleeping and the earlier you start, the better. This portable machine can be charged via USB which makes it great for on the go!

All of the above gift ideas are items that our little girl personally loved from newborn to 6 months old. I hope they love these gift ideas!

Share what you’re grabbing below!