breastfeeding

How I Weaned my Toddler from Breastfeeding

September 25, 2020 by firstcomesfamily Leave a Comment

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After 16 long months of breastfeeding, my toddler is officially weaned! It was a process that took about 4 months to do. I was dead set on weaning her the day after her first birthday but it didn’t quite go as planned. We were dead in the middle of quarantine and a global pandemic. Therefore, I kept breastfeeding because breastmilk contains antibodies that help fight infections in your baby. When my girl was 13 months old, our house came down with COVID-19 (thankfully Vivian never shows symptoms) so our journey wasn’t close to being done. But once we were clear of COVID-19, I decided it was time to wean!

Adding a Lovey

Vivian never became attached to anything. I tried everything: pacifier, blankets, stuffed animals, NOTHING… So I gave up trying until I realize that she used my boob as comfort. When she was upset, she wouldn’t come down until I fed her and even then she just used me as a paci. Lots of moms raved about Slumberkins so I took the plunge and ordered one with hopes she’d use this as her comfort. I started with putting it between us during a few feeds so she would get used to it. Then I’d put it into her crib when she went to bed (although AAP suggests an empty crib, we do what is best for our family and deem safe). Now she grabs her Unicorn Slumberkin when it’s time for nap or bed.

Minimize Feeds

This was the hardest! Vivian fed 6-10 times a day up until she was 15 months old. Every morning and night feeding was a given. Our routine was always to wake up and go to the couch and she’d feed for 20+ minutes. What I did was start to wean the daytime feeds first. I noticed she fed more when we were just sitting at home. When she’d come for a feed, I’d steer her direction to a toy or give her a snack instead. This actually worked pretty well! Eventually we were down to 2-3 feeds a day which was huge.

Replacing with Cow Milk

I tried transitioning Vivian to cow’s milk directly at 1 year but she didn’t care for it so I gave up until 16 months. Milk is naturally thicker and creamer than breastmilk which is a bit more watery. So I started with Horizon Organic Whole Milk with DHA Omega-3 mixed with water and warmed up (she won’t drink it cold). She liked this way more than just straight milk! As the days have gone on, I put less water in to eventually make it complete milk. I offer 10 ounces of milk as soon as she wakes up and at bedtime. She will only use the Munchkin Weight Straw Cup for her milk which also are great because they don’t leak!

Cutting Bedtime Feeds

Since we barely ever used bottles and I was able to stay home with her, I was always the one her put Vivian to bed. TakingCaraBabies helped me set a healthy sleep routine before we even decided to wean. I hadn’t breastfed her to sleep since she was like 6 months old. So she only ever fed for about 5 minutes during bedtime routine. This part was pretty easy because the first night that I offered her milk at bedtime, she didn’t even go for the boob so I just ran with that. If she tried then I would just encourage her milk in the cup and read more books.

Middle of the Night Feeds

Our bad habit was middle of the night feeds. These were always the hardest because she was inconsolable she if woke up in the night so I’d just feed her for a few minutes so we could go back to bed. I was concerned for this part. A few days into our wean, she woke up in the night and went straight to breastfeed. I refused her request and just held her and rocked her in the chair to show that I can still be used for comfort but breastfeeding isn’t what we do anymore. She’s been fine since!

Breastfeeding Anxiety

I knew I was ready to wean from breastfeeding when I would get extreme anxiety every time she wanted to feed. She basically did gymnastics while feeding and would insist on playing with my nipple.. I HATED it. I was so uncomfortable and had the worst anxiety. So I was ready to call it quits on my end.

Drying Up

Thankfully, I didn’t have an issue with this. I truthfully never experienced latch issues, clogged ducts or mastitis. I was always a “just-enougher” so I was never an over producer and didn’t had a huge freezer stash of breastmilk. But, I’ve heard that putting cabbage leaves in your bra help dry up your milk! My sister in law swears by it as well as her friends.

I am beyond thankful for out 16 month long breastfeeding journey. My goal initially was one year and I can’t believe I surpassed it! Every breastfeeding journey is so different so don’t be discouraged if yours isn’t what you read here or what you see on social media. Also, every baby will wean when they’re ready BUT if you feel your mental health is taking more of a toll then do what is best for you and baby! Being the best mom doesn’t always mean breastfeeding while you feel uncomfortable.

Why I’m afraid to wean from Breastfeeding

February 26, 2020 by firstcomesfamily Leave a Comment

Photo Credit: Kimberley Asante Photography

We’ve made it 10 long months of breastfeeding with only 2 months left until our goal of 1 year. I should be proud of my progress, but all I can think about is how afraid I am to wean from breastfeeding. It’s as if there is a clock ticking time down until we’re finished. Everyday feels numbered until she magically stops latching.

The bond I have with her through breastfeeding is so incredible. I feel so close to her, after all I am literally her life source. We’ve been blessed with a rather easy journey. She latched immediately after birth and we’ve haven’t had many hurdles to overcome. It’s was easy for us. Her and I are meant to be on this journey together.

Naturally, any baby will depend on their mother regardless of how their fed. We’ve only breastfed so this is the only connection that I know. She is so completely attached to me since day 1 and it only continues to get stronger. I worry that if and when we wean that I’m robbing her of comfort, love, and nutrition. My heart breaks into pieces when she cries as is, but I can’t imagine what it will feel like when the tears are caused by refusing her the only thing she knows of.

The selfish part of me thinks “What if she just wakes up one day and doesn’t want to feed?”. How do I prepare for the moment my baby girl doesn’t want me? Not being able to have some sort of closure or last moment together is what I fear. We’ve spent roughly 5 hours a day breastfeeding for the last 10 months. This comes out to be around 1,500 hours breastfeeding. That is 1,500 hours of just her and I, in our own little world. How do we go on not doing what spent nearly 50% of our days doing?

This journey has been the most amazing experience of my life. Breastfeeding my first baby, my little girl. I’ve given her some of the absolute most important days of breastfeeding that she could have. According to the AAP, breastmilk has already reduced her chances of ear infections, type 1 and type 2 diabetes, lymphoma, leukemia, and Hodgkins disease, childhood overweight and obesity.

In the big picture, I don’t know why I’m worrying so much about our days being over. She will love me no matter what and I will still look at her with such admiration as I have since her first minutes in this world. But I do know that I am not the only mother fearing the end of her breastfeeding journey.

What to Expect: the First Week of Breastfeeding

February 3, 2020 by firstcomesfamily Leave a Comment

For nine months, I dreamt of the moment my baby would latch. Social media is filled empowering photos of little babies breastfeeding on their mothers. Craving that connection between my daughter and I was a dream of mine. I had done endless research on what to expect but didn’t actually know what to expect the first week. So let me break down what to expect breastfeeding that first week day by day and even hour by hour.

We did skin to skin immediately after I gave birth. (I know some are not as lucky to get this opportunity) 45 minutes into our skin to skin, the nurses asked if I wanted to try latching. I lowered her to my nipple and she still fussed a little. Then within 30 seconds she latched. *cue the choir singing hallelujah* She sucked for about 20 minutes, maybe less. Then they took her for measuring, footprints, etc. Then about 2 hours later, they moved us to our Mother and Baby suite. The relocation was filled with getting comfortable into our new home for 2 days. Once family left, it was just my husband, our baby girl and I. She started to fuss so I was directed by the nurse to put her on to feed. Y’ALL! This baby suckled for 5 hours straight. I kid you not. She would cry when I took her off for a break. The nurse told me that cluster feeding is very normal within the first 24 hours. I DID NOT READ THAT ANYWHERE. In my mind, this is how breastfeeding was going to be for the rest of our journey. I was going out of my mind trying to stay awake but so exhausted. My husband stood at my bedside would I could rest my eyes while she fed. They also don’t warn you that if a nurse catches you asleep with the baby in your arms, they will take her and put her in the bassinet (which I did not want). My nipples were starting to get sore about an hour in and I would just keep reapplying the nipple balm. I used Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter which I loved because you didn’t have to wipe it off before feedings. You can find all of my Breastfeeding Must Haves here. Since she fed for so long, it truly was exhausting. I needed something to give me a break. The nurse said we could try a pacifier if we wanted. I was apprehensive because of all you hear about nipple confusion. We ended up giving her a paci and lasted for 2 hours. (also the last time she took a paci.. don’t worry yourself about nipple confusion)

This day feels like a blur but breastfeeding was better! Along with the hourly visits from nurses, doctors and consultants, we managed to get a better hang at it. She wasn’t cluster feeding as much as the night. Thank goodness. The lactation consultant commented how her latch looked great and I truthfully had no concerns, so on their way they went. There was one moment where they weighed her and she was 8 ounces under birth weight. This worried us, the nurse advised if we truly we concerned then we could give formula but she recommended we wait. I AM SO GLAD WE DID. I decided to trust the process and everything would be okay. (Took her a week to get over birth weight) Again, the nighttime was dreadful because as the mom, you literally get no rest. There is someone in there needing you hourly. (also something I didn’t know about)

Time to go home! YAY! But also freaked out because it was my full responsibility to make sure our baby was fed. Completely overwhelming. Her weight was still under but they assured me that the 4 days until our pediatrician appointment will be fine because my milk will come in. Side note, my milk didn’t come in yet. I was definitely producing colostrum because I had seen it on the tip of my nipple. So I wasn’t fretting too much since I knew there was something there. Once we got home, she fed like every other hour or so.

A blur. Constant feedings. Nothing new. A little cracking on my nipples and it did hurt from that. But no other latching pain. Still feeling every other hour.

WHOA BABY! Milk had arrived. My boobs were rock solid. I imagined this is what Pam Anderson’s implants felt like LOL They were EXTREMELY painful. Painful to touch. Painful to feed. Painful. I read once just to feed feed feed in order to drain them. So that’s what I did. The engorgement only lasted about a full day. They also started leaking aka let down had begun. I slept that night on my side and woke up to a legit soaked bed. Lesson learned: wear beast pads. I continued to use the nipple balm before and after every feed. That really helped them heal fast. I had a small scab on each nipple that fell off by Day 6.

As my husband was able to catch up on sleep, I am sad to report, I was not. Our baby girl didn’t like to be set down was still feeding every other hour. As the initial engorgement went down, they would only become filled after a few hours. In order to help the engorgement, I took hot long showers which made them feel SO much better.

Still feeding every other hour. Tried to find joy in each moment because everyone told me it goes by quick. But let me tell you, it’s hard finding joy when you’re completely exhausted, emotional, and your boobs hurt (and not like I’m getting my period hurt). I can safely say, by day 7 it felt way better and I was way more comfortable with handling her for feedings. Now I have smaller boobs to begin with, so I really was only able to use cross-cradle position where she laid on my one forearm and the other arm/hand held her head. This is a very common early breastfeeding position because it helps support their head.

My baby girl and I are now 8 months into our breastfeeding journey and it is crazy looking back to the first week. It felt like an absolute eternity and I all I could think about was getting to our goal. My goal was 2 weeks. I was always told the first 2 weeks were the toughest. So I endured each day to get there. Our journey is on its own path and I’m okay wherever it takes us. Not every mother has the same experience with breastfeeding and it is so important to remember that. Some last 1 day, some last 2 years. Some get mastitis, some don’t. My ultimate advice would be to go into your journey relaxed and try not to put too much stress into it. I often see moms struggle when they let everyone control their breastfeeding journey or do not have support.

I am here for you, mama. I am an advocate for you and your precious baby on your breastfeeding journey. I hope this 7 day insight helps you feel a little more at ease or even a little excited.

Best Wishes xoxo